1. Rihanna & Chris Brown - I can't believe how many people are shocked that she took him back. Not to be insensitive, but isn't that how abusive relationships work? Abuse, apology, reconciliation - repeat. "They Take Back Their Abusive Boyfriends!" That's not something they put in the "Stars! - They're Just Like Us" pages of Us Magazine. However, I'm sure Oprah's warning to her will mend her ways. Sarcasm intended - mostly because I can't stand Oprah.

2. The Movie Australia - I firmly believe that any and all movies should be limited to a 2 hour time limits. No exceptions. If a film cannot make it under 2 hours, well, then make it a sequel! Most of us DO have lives! (myself excluded) Australia is 2 hours and 45 minutes of dust and Hugh Jackman. And although I certainly prefer the latter, even too much of Hugh Jackman can't be a good thing. It was just way, way, way too long and not near good enough to make up for it. Less is more, people. Less is more.

3. This Bachelor Crap - Of course ABC couldn't settle for another boring season of their good old fashioned meet her 'n marry her show, so this year their Bachelor thought it would be fun to flip-flop Hillary Clinton-style and make himself look like a complete d-bag. Which probaby means he was an original d-bag to begin with - just hiding in a tailored suits. The Sutters being the exception, do people really think that they will find true and everlasting love while dating a bevy of desperate singles all while being constantly filmed? I mean, come on - really? Like really? I guess desperate times call for desperate reality shows.

4. American Idol - How many times are they going to throw in surprise changes in the show before it's not even American Idol anymore and just turns into a bunch of snarky judges making subtley homophobic jokes at a metrosexual host. Oh, well I guess that's something that hasn't changed :) I say let's just keep to the original format, no more sing-offs for your life, get rid of a fourth judge (and by 4th I mean Paula since she's off her meds and can no longer offer any more crazy, loopy, pain-pilled fueled interviews and lets be honest, it raised ratings). FOX better be careful because too much changes could mean AI ends up a karaoke contest complete with has-been stars of the 80's looking for their next big break. KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID

5. Presidential State of the Union Addresses. Don't think me unpatriotic but I HATE with a PASSION when the address just happens to fill up Thursday night's television slots. That's MY TV NIGHT!! And does it have to be broadcast on every channel short of QVC and Animal Planet? I say how about Monday morning between 9 & 11. I doubt the elderly wont be mad about missing two hours of Matlock and Murder She Wrote reruns. It's not like I don't care about what the President has to say, I just care about the time he chooses to share it. I get very angry when I miss The Office and 30 Rock. You won't like me when I'm angry.